Apparently people in OC have been taking Halloween too seriously. A kid kills 2 neighbors and injures others in Aliso Viejo, and people are still complaining that I’m dumb for going to Afghanistan. So who’s safe now, huh? I haven’t seen any weirdos in plastic masks walking around HERE blasting off their shotguns.
Hmm. maybe that’s because the weirdos in Kabul have terrorist-style cloth masks, and they usually carry assault rifles instead of shotguns. HA!
I am doing nothing for Halloween tonight. I don’t know anybody who even celebrates Halloween in Afghanistan. The closest thing to a Halloween celebration here is the All Souls Day Mass at the Italian Embassy chapel. So instead, I’m just sitting here in my cold office, with heater burning at full blast, fighting off my cold and waiting for a meeting with some Afghan guy who needs help doing a b-plan for a women’s education project. In the meantime, I’m just looking at some pictures of home, reminiscing the kinds of things I’m missing out on, and realizing how life is back home: clean, proper, warm, and comfortable ….
Alright. Gotta upload this post now…that it’s closer to 9 AM, and people at this Ministry are actually sitting down to their desks (official hrs start at 8 AM). Of course, in reality 8 AM work time means that people sit down at 9 AM and just start checking their e-mail and wasting time on the internet – which means that bandwidth will be reduced to .2 KB/s from 5 KB/s.
Dr Quan (or “Bac Quan” as I call him) and I have a very interesting relationship, and it’s probably one that most normal people wouldn’t be able to handle. First of all, Dr Quan is a very eccentric fellow. He’s the kinda guy that cuts the bullshit and gets straight to the chase. His no-nonsense style keeps people on their toes and their attentions on the spot. Second of all, he’s the Team Leader. All international projects have a “Team Leader.” Essentially that’s the big boss of the project. On the job, he calls the shots and makes the decisions that matter. It’s kinda like a Project Manager or something like that. The other official name for the Team Leader is “Chief of Party”… at least from what I know. Actually I may be wrong about that – “Chief of Party” may be even higher up the chain than Team Leader. And so anyway, Dr Quan is the Chief of Party. For two months that’s not bad right? I KINDA got the lingo down.
Anyway, Dr Quan and I have a very interesting relationship. Because of his military-like personal style, and my lowly position…our day to day interactions usually amounts to something like this:
Dr Quan to Alex: “Jump.”
Alex to Dr Quan: “How high?”
or
Dr Quan: “Fix this…and this.”
Alex: “When do you want it done, and which color should I paint that?”
To tell you the truth, I really don’t mind the strict style of Dr Quan, and the fact that he likes to put people down when they fuck up. After all, it’s your fault that you fuck up, so you deserve to be beaten to the ground. It wasn’t his fault, was it? But I usually enjoy following Dr Quan’s directives because I almost always get something out of it.
Dr Quan is exactly the kind of fellow that’s too busy to explain things to you. So he will never tell you why you should do something. And he ALWAYS gets pissed if you ask “Why?” at the wrong time. Usually because that’s up to you to figure out, and maybe you should have known “Why” in the first place. To tell you the truth, I myself am somewhat similar to him, except the difference between me and him is that I’m too lazy to explain things to people (so I usually don’t, unless I have to), whereas he’s just too busy and his mind is always 2 steps ahead of you. But I totally understand his position, and the rest of the team does too – that’s why most people have similar obeyances to his “Jump”-type commands…but they usually do it with a bit of reluctance…”um…k, so how high?”
The interesting part of our relationship, however, is that I know that if Dr Quan says “Jump”…what he really means is something along the lines of “Jump…and while you’re up there you’ll find a stack of money, a job application, and maybe some free food. You can have it all…as long as you’re smart enough to figure out how to get it.”
So basically our relationship consists of a buncha directives: do this, do that, call this person, ask them this and that. Then go there, and work with this person…blah blah. And of course, I obey…immediately. With him, there’s no such thing as thinking before you act, and no such thing as delay or hesitance. The end result is a bunch of unique experiences, job opportunities, and one-of-a-kind hook-ups that he would never have time to explain…unless he’s feeling nice enough to go out of his way for you….Which is rare…except at this point I’ve figured out when to hit him up and just listen to him talk “big people” talk that a “small person” like my usually doesn’t get to hear. He talks about project strategies, how to get millions of dollars in funding, who is dumb and who not to talk to, how to make the real money, how to avoid unnecessary taxes, how to relieve stress, how to avoid getting pigeon-holed…all the good wisdom that takes decades to build.
So the relationship with Dr Quan is a very interesting one indeed. On a daily basis it just looks like I’m an extra arm of his…or extra battery or memory stick. But really he’s directing me to right spots at the right time, and expects no questions asked…until it’s the right time and until I’ve got my head sorted out. Usually on these tasks I just act..then think about what I’m doing when I’m actually doing it…and then I figure out what exactly is going on…then I think – damn, I’m really lucky to be in this position right now. Ha! I never would have been able to get anywhere near here if I was just by myself.
That’s it in a nutshell. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting groomed to be the next Chief of Party extraordinaire, but then I ask “is this right for me?” Either way, I’m learning a hell of a lot, and positioning myself in ways that I never new I should have positioned myself in. So that’s why…when I hear “Jump” I just jump…and on the way up I ask “How high?”
Call me sick, but there’s one thing that I absolutely love about my job. It’s not the bathrooms, and it has nothing to do with the talented people around me. What is it? It’s the simple, yet extreme manifestation of power that I get to witness every once in a while. This type of power just happens to be the power that resides in the government. Unrelated to the military, covert operations, cabinet politics, and electoral maneuvers (kinda), I get to witness the crucial “behind-the-scenes” transformations in the Afghan government. Since I work as an assistant to the int’l advisors at various Ministries, I get to see the SWEAT and STRESS over these decisions that would destroy the consciences of most people. But deep inside, I love to watch these decisions play out. These are the decisions that throw government workers out of their jobs, and force the heads of departments to succumb to the will of international “donor agencies.” I love it.
When confronting humans and philosophies alike, it brings opponents to their knees. What a great feeling. Power behind closed doors…understanding that power is one of the reasons that I came to Afghanistan, and I’m glad I’ve been introduced to it.
I’ve finally concluded that there is no escape. No matter how far I go, I will still run into people I know. Berkeley alumni in Kabul, friends from UCLA randomly at Paris, Berkeley friends in Vancouver….this time it’s my “god-aunt” (my godfather’s sister)…who has come to Kabul. “Bac Hien,” as my godsister calls her, is the wife of Bob, who works for UNDP Afghanistan. You may have read about him in an earlier post. Anyway, I must conclude that it’s a small world, and there’s no denying it.
When my godsister heard that I was going to Afghanistan (that fateful day at Sunday dim sum in SF) she immediately called up her uncle, Bob, UNDP team leader extraordinaire. At that time he had already been in Kabul for a few months, so afterwards I called him up and tried to orient myself with the daily life in Kabul. Next thing I know, I’m in Kabul and kicking it almost daily at his house (technically, the “UN compound”). True, this isn’t an encounter I tried to avoid, but even if I’m just having lunch around the Civil Service Commission I’m bound to run into him, since he always works for the Civil Service Commission (as a public management trainer..and more).
So anyway, Bob had his wife “Bac Hien” come to Kabul and find out for herself how “safe” it really is here. And of course she confirms it. She’s practically bored to death living for the past week in Kabul. Nothing to do, and she doesn’t have to waste most of her day working. I’m not even sure if bothered trying the “tourist” thing here…and even if she did it would be over in about 45 minutes. But by now, I think Bac Hien is on a flight back to Canada (or Dubai or whatever), and in a couple days she’ll be back in her cozy home.
The other thing that surprises me is that I didn’t expect to be hearing so much talk about Vietnam in coming here. Whenever I’m around Bob, or his wife, Dr Quan is usually with me, and I usually end-up hearing at least an hour-or-so of ranting against Vietnamese bureaucrats and corruption, and all that. Great, more of that, you say. Well, the difference here is that these people Bob, Bac Hien, and Dr Quan all actually worked in Vietnam for several years after the “reunification”…trying to do development work – rather than spending those years protesting in Little Saigon and what not. In fact, Bob and his wife are well acquainted with Dr Quan because of their years in Vietnam working together.
But there’s interesting history here. Dr Quan and Bac Hien are both from the “old Vietnam” that went to study abroad, and therefore they are from an extremely small sub-generation of Vietnamese folks that all know each other. Bac Hien went to study in the US during that time (pre-1975), so she’s part of a Very small group. Dr Quan went to France, so he knows most Vietnamese in France at that time – he’s got some interesting stories about brawling with Algerian Communists and Arab Anarchists during that time in Paris too…but that story’s for another day. Interesting time in world history too…the peak of the civil rights movement and modern liberal attitudes (among youth), but I’ll talk about that some other time.