after_alex

I guess that it has taken me a while to come to this point…where I am finally at terms with being back in the US, and where I have finally re-constructed “my life.” Some people are quite good at adjusting to life back and forth from Afghanistan, but I’d say that for most like myself, the jolt of settling down can be a spin. Intentionally, however, I’ve spent the past month-and-half in Southern California in order to reclaim some of my roots and recognize what’s important for me in the future.

Last time I made my way back to the US (in 2005) after a stint in Afghanistan, I was totally culture-shocked.

This time, I was surprisingly culture-shocked again. Upon returning to the US, I rushed to my cousin’s wedding in San Jose, California. And after just 1-night of sleep I was in the middle of it — a traditional Vietnamese wedding ceremony in the suburban environs of California. I recall just staring out the window at the local park, just thinking, “man….are those kids lucky to be just rolling around at park.” Typically, kids in Kabul are working for their parents by the time they’re old enough to walk and talk. Whether they’re in the welding shop, herding goats (even on the streets of Kabul), scavenging the neighborhood trash, or just fetching drinking water from the local pump….life isn’t so simple. Still it’s kiddie-life, and I’m sure most kids look upon their younger years with yearning … no matter where they were spent.

Culture shock was accentuated this time, not just by the East/West | Islam/Christianity | Pork/Chicken divide…but by the huge chasm in technology. Being a former high-tech researcher and software manager, coming back to a world where information flies was just…IS just….amazing. Astounding. Day-by-day we can’t understand the eventual leaps in technology that we make, but with things like the new iPhone I have been simply blown away. I knew that I had to catch with almost 2 lost years of “hi-tech” so I signed up for the iPhone as fast as I could. Man…was that the right thing — and most shocking thing — to do. With this iPhone I’ve wasted away hours-days-nights (…or finally caught up with tech, depending which way you look at it)….hacking, jailbreaking, apping, and breaking this thing.

On coming back to the US, I thought that I would be able to pull out my old desktop PC and begin tinkering productively on it again…then I put my iPhone next to it…and WTF. Sure, I can put Linux on the ol’ white box and slap a bunch of cool programs on it. But pretty much the iPhone can do everything you want it to — if you are just patient enough with it. And now I’m convinced that “cloud computing” is here. To hell with it, I said. So today I dumped my beloved old white box over at Salvation Army, along with the huge 17″ Samsung Monitor that I dropped hard-earned cash on (back in 2001 of course). With my re-education with technology at least I’ve found some peace.

More importantly, however, I realize now why I wanted to spend so much time here in SoCal before moving on. California is a great place not just because it represents technology, but because it’s the home of comfort, trendy lifestyle, and great ideas. I’ve been able to do some hard meditation on “what next”…which is typically an easy deliberation for me. This time it’s different, because I feel that the US isn’t what I’ve wanted to come home to…and it’s not the core of my future…but because it’s just the platform. In reality, coming back was originally my finale for Afghanistan. No more, no less.

Now I’ve come to terms with the next few years of school at Harvard and Penn…(more on this later). Somewhere in there I’ve also found some bearing with regard to career vis-a-vis family, life aspirations, and reality’s limitations. In the years to come, it’ll be important for me to stay humble and imaginative while keeping it real. Life is at a crossroads, I suppose. And it’s an exciting time. Like my old friend Thien said, “The end of every era is the beginning of the next.” You can choose “when” you will be alive, but it’s all about choosing where and how.

After about a month back in the US, I’m finally back in SoCal mode. This weekend tops it off as the pinnacle of Southern California living, with my cousin and her new husband. She is one of my good cousins’…although she was a few years older than me and my brother, we grew up seeing each other all the time. [I'd crash her place to play Super Mario Brothers!] And when I went to UC Berkeley, I’d occasionally see her around UCSF, where she went to dental school. It’s nice to see her so happy with her groom.

I had been down and out recently from a weird respiratory bug lately, so I had to drag myself out of bed to get down to the wedding. But I’m glad I made it out. The spot for the ceremony was very nice. The newlyweds are surely a sensible couple, and they chose an excellent venue for their event overlooking the beach. Man, are they setting themselves up for a nice life…two doctors (DDS and MD) …

It’s been a long time since I last caught up with my “cousins” as well. I say “cousins” because in Vietnamese, most of them would be considered nephews and nieces. I’m actually cousins with their parents. Thus, strange things always happen in big families, and the English nomenclature of 2nd cousins is fine. Not everyone was able to make it this time. My brother and my cousin Toan are in Vietnam, but some of us came quite far to support the couple. John and I recently returned from Afghanistan. John (3rd from right), is a Major in the US Marines. Paul, middle white suit, came from NYC…

My most common family memories are with these guys at my old gramma’s house in Westminster, CA. Back then our parents used to gather for large family events (this wasn’t even half of us), and we’d get dragged along to see all the other relatives. Usually after settling down after some good ol’ Vietnamese style grub we’d splinter off and go play in the street, wander off to the arcade, watch TV (i.e. In Living Color!), and do other kids’ stuff. Those were the days eh? Damn, it feels now like we’re so OLD.

Once I get back to the US, one of the things I’m looking forward to again is easy access to alcohol. In particular, I miss just sitting down and opening a nice lager after a long day. Mmm. I think the US has made great strides in the brewing and vintage industries, particular with great ideas like “Wine in a box.” But when it comes to practicality, perhaps other country markets like China have advanced past the US. Take for example, the low-end of version of wine in a box, “Beer in a Bag!” I found this post on one of my favorite sites, Baba Ganoush on TastyBooze..

Photo from Break.com.

Alls i gotta say is “What a great idea.” Who’da thunk it, Only the Chinese. Not is this option only cheap, but it’s also environmentally friendly and recyclable! Fill it back up after you’re done. It’s safe too, because you can’t cut yourself on a ‘broken’ container. Just don’t suffocate yourself while drinking the contents.

Back in the day when we used to mess around …in our spare time.

Those were good days, weren’t they?

So…I’m once again a college student. What a weird feeling. I had almost entered into a period of self-despair and mid-life crisis, but emersion back into the curious, flitting lifestyle of the college student has come to my rescue. OK, not really.

But I realize that everyday that I don’t learn something I feel like I’m dying inside. So I have to keep the fire burning, and keep the wheels of curiosity turning.

So I’m taking a Mandarin class.

Yes, this is my second attempt at Mandarin. My first was a long time ago…something like 10 years ago – with a bunch of 6-to-8 year olds (American-born, of course) who were way too fluent for their own good. And, they maked me look like a jackass…as one of the way-to-big-kids of the class… with the other rowdy few adolescents in the back of the class. Actually, the other kids were my older brother, Tony, and my older cousins, Monica and Alix…and our old chain-smoking, Toyota Camry (1991) tire-burning, ClaimJumper-indulging friend, Taylor.

Ah, those were the days. Hot summer afternoons down in Bolsa, drinking cafe-sua-da…after a morning of intelligible Chinese childrens’ poems about daddy’s big hands and mommy’s big heart. Ah, those were the days. When the biggest worries were when the spoiler for the 1995 Honda Civic would be shipped in, and whether we could highlight our hair just the right shade of blonde. Just the bangs, of course…just the bangs.

And don’t forget. Those Jenko’s. You know what I’m talking about. Wife-beaters, tailored slacks, ya baby Bolsa 1996. Planet Soul and INOJ. Yeah yeah. What happened to those days…